There is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Every couple around, no matter how much they love each other, will, at some point, fight. It does not matter whether the conflict started because of a bad habit that a spouse cannot shake off or because of contrasting beliefs.
Fights are normal, even healthy, among couples. However, it can also be a constant source of stress and heartbreak. If it happens frequently, and it can no longer be resolved, fights may also become a reason for two people to get a divorce.
COVID-19 Lockdowns Causing Couple Fight
The past year has been stressful, to say the least. Aside from the pandemic, many nations also have to deal with a recession, mass unemployment, and food shortages. In the United States, Americans also have to deal with civil unrest as violence against people of color continued on top of the ongoing health crisis.
All that stressors are forcing couples to confront previous squabbles placed in the backburner as everyday responsibilities such as work, chores, and childcare take center stage. But, with everyone stuck indoors 24/7, many couples have to make compromises and even negotiate for personal space and time. For many, this has led to an increase in arguments.
But, now that nations are opening back as vaccination efforts begin, it is time to start fixing relationships strained by the pandemic. Fortunately, it is not the end of the line for many couples.
When in a Crisis, Ask for Professional Help
All couples can benefit from relationship counseling sessions. A therapist can provide a safe space for couples to open up to one another without judgment and without fear of abuse or manipulation. The therapist can encourage open, clear, and honest conversation which can potentially allow two people to reconcile.
Counseling is for couples who are on the verge of breaking up, having issues that they cannot resolve, and want a stronger and more harmonious relationship.
Carve a Space for Alone Time
Before the pandemic, people had plenty of opportunities to spend time apart. They were at the office or school most of the day. On weekends, they can hangout with their respective friends.
However, during quarantine, people are locked indoors together. There is no way to be apart.
As a result, small things can get under their skin. Suddenly, all their bad habits are magnified and are causing constant fights.
Everybody needs time alone, even when sheltering in place. Take a few minutes every day to step out and take a breather where you would not have to hear your partner talking on their phone. Ask your partner to give you an hour or two so you can have a peaceful, distraction-free bath or work on your hobbies.
Identify the Real Problem
You might be arguing right now about something small and insignificant but, in reality, these frequent fights are caused by something very serious. At the end of the day, all the anger and frustration from the past year are coming out over a sock that was discarded on the floor or the mountain of dishes on the sink.
The fight task on the agenda should be to figure out what is really making you angry. Maybe your partner does not help you with housework, or they do not respect you. Perhaps, they refuse to give you your alone time. These problems can present themselves in everyday annoyances.
Figure out the real cause of the conflict whether with the help of a therapist or by yourselves.
You Have to be Willing to Fix the Relationship
When people are angry, they tend to be stubborn and, sometimes, hostile. They refuse to have a conversation with their partner or insist their way even if it is irrational or incorrect.
But, to get out of the cycle of fights, both parties need to want to resolve the conflict.
Experts say that couples who are more active in fixing a dispute tend to recover emotionally faster compared to those who use a more passive approach. In short, do not let those negative feelings fester and bubble up inside you. It is better to bring it up immediately after it happens so that it can be resolved immediately. Do not use the silent treatment or make snide remarks in front of your partner. Just sit down and talk.
COVID-19 does not destroy relationships, but it did put a strain on many relationships. Luckily, these disputes can be resolved as long as two people are willing to work on it.